The Reality of the Other; The Fallacies Within Expectation.

If someone shows you who they truly are, take your blinders off to see that person as they have presented themselves to you- with their beauty and strength as well as with their tragic fallacies and downfalls. 

This means not seeing them solely just as the potential that lies within them. It does not mean that you don't believe that they will never live up to that potential but to acknowledge to yourself that if they are unwilling to do anything to grow towards that potential, it is not your place to attempt to force them to do so. 

For you to view them from a lens where you see them as the person they could be rather than who they are now means that you hold expectations of them that you expect them to conform to. This is your issue not theirs.

In the case that someone has misled you into believing they are a certain way and have presented themselves to be who they are not- look into whether your intuition had warned you of this and realize that this is a lesson to be learnt from, not one that makes you bitter but one that alerts you to how important it is to hone in your intuition and to really check within- did you want to believe that they were this person so badly that you looked past the clues they presented that all was not as it seemed? Are you sure there was absolutely nothing that you picked up on? Do you honestly feel like there is not a lesson that could be learnt from this? 

Scientists refer to our gut as our second brain- there lies a network of neurons there that initiates certain reactions that can help trigger a reaction in the cerebral brain. Pay more attention to these emotional responses and they will help your cerebral processes extract information from here. By heightening awareness here you will sharpen your intuition and learn to discern warning signals as well as listen to your own inner guidance.

Many men and women get into relationships with another thinking they will change them into the person that they want them to be, the person they know that they could be. The truth of the matter is that I, nor you, can change anybody who doesn't want to change themselves. If somebody is seeking to change themselves it is your choice whether you choose to help them towards that change, but it is not your prerogative to impinge this change upon them if they have not chosen it. This creates resentment between both people and fosters hostility. 

The relationship you entered is with the person that they are right then (if they are seeking to grow that is wonderful but it remains that the person that they are at that time is the one you are choosing to be with, in any form, friend or partner) not the person they will one day be. To be disappointed in another for not living up to your standards means examining your own motives more carefully to see why you would set yourself up for that disappointment in the first place. Every person has their own journey to walk, choices to embrace and roles to play, let them be true to theirs, what is important for you is to be true to yours.

This will help you see the beauty in others as they are, rather than as you would will them to be. 

Additionally this frees up the energy that was being exerted towards trying to alter that other persons identity, to be put towards your own growth. 

Often we get so invested in our idea of what we want this other person to be like that we begin to neglect our own personal development. The only person you are responsible for, the only person you can change, is yourself. As you take this responsibility and invest in yourself it will attract other people towards you that are equally invested in their own development and growth. 

Remember, you always have a choice in the matter of who you allow into your life- choose wisely.

This is what a healing journey is really about- a quest for self-development and growth towards all that you can be and truly are within.