The fear of being alone is a core fear, rooted so deeply within us, that most of us are afraid to face it, sometimes during the span of our entire lives. Others still, would rather not own it- if you ignore it for long enough, it fades into the background, being cast aside as a nuisance that keeps trying to reel you back into being who you've always been. For many, we're too scared to do that, because that means facing where our insecurities come from, not just the meat of our issues, but also the skeletal infrastructure.
We mask our fears and express them through our reactions to situations in our lives. We become a story of reactions that we create for ourselves. For instance we may be angry that somebody is walking all over us yet we're still letting them because we have a core belief that being loved means being taken advantage of. This can be further traced back to not just a deeper fear of not being good enough but also a subconscious belief pattern that got programmed as a child when we were punished or shamed by others (including parents who had been taught the same as children) that the truth is that we really are not good enough.
If a person isn't really willing to look inside themselves they will immediately dismiss it and say that's not me and get triggered by this, getting angry that someone thinks this could be true. The only reason any of us react with a charge to anything anybody else ever says, is because there is something inside us that we react to in the same way that we feel the other person is projecting on to us. For example, if I believe that everybody thinks they know better than me, and then inside I also fear that everyone thinks that they know better than me then whenever I feel a person is saying something that indicates that I will react.
If we have suffered an event that was similar in the feeling that it evoked in us to the one in the current situation, to an extent that is relative to the person and the energy of the feeling, we react based on the original event that was experienced, plus any subsequent events that had caused us to feel the same way. A reaction is always based on previous history. When our actions have intention, it ceases to be a reaction.
By letting these subconscious wounds fester instead of drawing awareness to them to let them heal and release them, we impair our experiential quality of living.
Use your light to help you examine your dark- using your awareness as a torch to help shed light on the shadows, because when that shadow is shined upon it reveals the little child version of you, shivering and hurt because it was cast aside as a demon. The more you can accept your light and your dark, the better you enable yourself to feel compassion for yourself and others. To see yourself as you truly are is to love yourself because that's when you really acknowledge that hurt inner child that was created the first time you felt separate from the rest of the world around you and realized it could potentially hurt you.
Your subconscious is just filled with that child's self defense mechanisms to protect itself, what we know as 'ego'. Ego is that part of you that served a useful role, and now it's time to help it transform so that it sits in a seat of love rather than fear, so it can help your soul's desires manifest. It brings you to realize that your core is beautiful, just as it has always been. The more of yourself you are, the more you accept and love yourself, the more beautiful you are. It's a direct correlation.
Knowing your own fears helps you realize how others are not separate from you. The energy behind their emotions and reactions is similar to yours. The origin is the same, it has just been expressed in different ways- in some in extremes. There is no 'us' and 'them'. This does not impeach on your sense of your inner world, it just verifies the underlying current that flows through each of us. We have all come from the same matter, yet we are different flavours of that matter. To rob someone of that richness or to impede their growth to tasting it for themselves, or do the same to ourselves deprives us of the full potential of our being.
At the center of you is love, it has always been. When you recognize and acknowledge that, all story that you've clung on to, the need to define yourself (there is no compulsion to define that which is understood on a soul level) melts away, and you allow yourself to just be. In beingness you find that separation is a construct of the sum of fear, and can be transformed and healed. It's when every action you undertake is filled with mindfulness and the true essence of profound, yet simple, meaning.
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